EPISODE 13

 

 

 

 

INT. WHITE HOUSE LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

It’s just Eric and Donald. They’re both nervous, not wanting to have the conversation. But they gotta have it.

ERIC

Dad, I wanna be a fashion designer...AND I’m gay.

Donald is stunned, slaps his son hard in the face. Then Donald half hugs Eric and finally regains his composure.

Eric is not phased in the least.

DONALD

I knew it. I knew ALL along. I knew you were gay!!

ERIC

No you didn’t.

DONALD

Yes I DID.

ERIC

How could you tell?

DONALD

You’re a better dancer than me.

ERIC

Huh?

DONALD

I am a VERY good dancer, VERY good. The ladies always say so. And at your sister’s wedding, I was watching you. The ONLY way you could dance better than me was...if you were a homo.

ERIC

You know the guy...it’s Kanye.

DONALD

Great guy. Helluva guy. Great family man. Oh...sorry.

ERIC

That’s okay. It IS complicated.

DONALD

Divorce is no big deal. Makes the kids tougher. Tougher! Am I right?

Eric rolls his eyes.

DONALD

You know I love you no matter what. No matter what. No matter what!!! Did you put Kanye’s thing...in your mouth?

ERIC

Uh...well...yes Dad.

Donald stands up, then faints.

 

 

 

 

DISSOLVE TO:

 

 

 

 

EXT. PARK - DAY

DJ meets Colonel Freyss. They sit at a park bench and eat sandwiches together. DJ is very happy.

 

 

EXT. PARK - DAY, LATER

Colonel Freyss and DJ walk and talk. Sometimes DJ talks in an animated way and Colonel Freyss listens. Then sometimes DJ listens intently as Colonel Freyss gives an impassioned opinion.

 

 

 

 

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. THE FOYER OF IVANKA AND JARED’S APARTMENT - NIGHT

Jared is all packed, ready to leave. Ivanka is next to him. They are both sad and angry. Seething.

JARED

Without me...you’re nothing.

As Jared leaves...

IVANKA

I will visit you in jail someday. And I’ll bring the kids too. We’ll pack a picnic.

 

 

 

 

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. OVAL OFFICE - DAY

Megyn Kelly is going through notes. Donald is sitting next to her.

DONALD

Would you consider a career change?

MEGYN

You willing to dump Pence?

DONALD

Immediately. Then I nominate you as VP. In a few years it’s all yours.

MEGYN

A few years is a long time.

DONALD

Okay, maybe two years.

MEGYN

Really?

DONALD

But there will be some rocky times ahead. A lot of challenges. We have to make some temporary changes. To safeguard our democracy.

MEGYN

Is that right? So you come here and hint at some soft coup?

DONALD

It’s going to happen with or without you. But I need America’s #1 journalist on my side throughout.

Megyn Kelly thinks it over.

MEGYN

On one condition. You fire your daughter.

DONALD

Can’t do that.

MEGYN

Give me something to leak. To embarrass her publicly. She’ll resign.

DONALD

Okay.

FADE TO BLACK

EPISODE 14

 

 

 

 

INT. OVAL OFFICE - DAY

Donald and General Vail and Major Driscoll are talking and Ivanka pokes her head in. She tries to NOT show her attraction to the Major, and he plays it the same way.

IVANKA

Sorry to interrupt. Can I have you for five minutes, later?

DONALD

Of course, honey.

She is about to leave when DONALD stops her.

DONALD

Ivanka, tell us something. You're a great judge of men. Tell us your impression of General Mehrabi.

General Vail has a slight condescending attitude toward Ivanka.

GENERAL VAIL

Iraqi Chief of Staff.

IVANKA

Yes sir, I’ve met him, sir.

DONALD

I trust the guy, these two don’t. What do you think?

Ivanka pauses for a moment, then. All eyes on her.

IVANKA

He’s secular, which is good. He has a daughter in private school in Switzerland. He told me that he was studying French because she is. I thought that was sweet.

MAJOR DRISCOLL

But?

IVANKA

But there were years in the late 80’s when Mehrabi was on Saddam’s payroll. Contract killer. He supposedly can be quite sadistic.

GENERAL VAIL

You didn’t answer the question. Do you trust him?

IVANKA

Partnerships and trust are predicated on one thing - mutual self interest. It’s nice, but we don’t care if the guy is sweet to his daughter or if he reads Voltaire in the original version. Mehrabi wants stability, and so do we. Mehrabi hates clerics. So do we. Okay, he tortures the opposition, so did Castro. So did the ANC in South Africa at one point, before they took over. Mandela MUST have known about it. FDR interned Japanese...American citizens. Relieved them of their homes, their family businesses, wiped them out. Is anyone 100% clean? Mehrabi is fine with our military bases. He steals a little, but not too much. Has no interest in nationalizing industries. He likes power, not money. All things considered, YES, I trust him.

She’s won over the men, and she knows it. They beam their satisfaction.

 

 

 

 

INT. HAIDEE’S ATELIER - NIGHT

Eric is working alone. Donald enters. Eric is at first surprised, then relaxes.

Donald looks at the female form that Eric is fitting.

DONALD

I can’t get the image out of my mind. Kanye’s cock. His purple eggplant cock in my youngest son’s mouth. My baby boy.

ERIC

Dad!!

DONALD

But Kanye is great. Really great. Family man.

ERIC

Dad!!

DONALD

You’re lucky MY father is dead. He’d have castrated you on the dining room table. Shit, he beat Uncle Fred just for rooting for the Orioles in the ’69 World Series.

ERIC

Really?

DONALD

Oh yeah, brutal man. Great man!! But brutal. How I fantasized about killing him.

Both are quiet.

ERIC

What should I do?

DONALD

Take a leave of absence from the family business. And if you need cash to start your own fashion line, I told DJ to give you some.

ERIC

Thanks SO much. So much. But no money yet Dad. I still have a lot to learn.

DONALD

Really? Your sister started and she knew absolutely nothing!

ERIC

I know. And her clothes are horrible!

They both laugh.

DONALD

You’re right. They ARE horrible. Well, at least she’s not a fag. Kidding!!

Donald walks out.

 

 

 

 

INT. OVAL OFFICE - DAY

Donald is showing off the place to an older couple, in their early 70’s. The older man is kind of frail. The older woman, Nancy is kind of frumpy. Both feel out of place.

DONALD

What an office, huh? To think? Reagan and JFK sat here at this desk. I’m truly, truly humbled.

NANCY

Thanks for inviting us Donnie...um...Mr. President. My husband and I are thrilled.

Donald smiles to her and her husband, the older man.

DONALD

The pleasure is mine. When I was sworn in Nancy, you were one of the first people I thought of.

NANCY

Really? I was?

OLDER MAN

Really? She was?

DONALD

Oh yeah. Nancy was my VERY first love. I was head over heels. We were...16...17?

NANCY

I don’t really remember.

DONALD

Oh yes you do. You broke up with me right before the Homecoming football game. You crushed me. I begged you. I BEGGED YOU.
But you crushed me.

All is quiet.

DONALD

You thought you were better than me! Look at me now, Nancy! Look at me now!

INT. DJ’S BEDROOM - NIGHT

DJ sits alone on his bed with a box of old family photos. He is on his phone. Trying not to be sad, trying, with effort, to be strong.

DJ

Remember that Christmas? When we were little? When Dad surprised us and snuck in the house dressed as Santa? We didn’t recognize him, we really thought it was Santa! Fuck...I TOTALLY believed it. I got a baseball glove that year.

DJ puts on a baseball glove, obviously a child’s glove, which doesn't fit him anymore.

DJ

Do you ever think about it Ivanka?
Where did it all go wrong?

 

 

 

 

FADE TO BLACK

EPISODE 15

 

 

 

 

INT. PSYCHIATRIST’S OFFICE - DAY

Dr. Laura and DJ sit. He is very happy.

DJ

My headaches are gone. I’m sleeping soundly at night. My appetite has returned. I owe that all to you.

She smiles.

DJ

What we say stays in this room, right?

She nods. They’re quiet. He’s now apprehensive.

DJ

Never mind.

DR. LAURA

Are you sure?

DJ

Yeah. What I have to say...is...

They’re quiet, then...

DJ

Not a word. You can’t repeat ANY of this.

They’re quiet again. She leans in closer to reassure him.

DJ

I need to make a move against my Dad. I need to save my country.

 

 

 

 

DISSOLVE TO:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

INT. HOTEL BAR - DAY

Ivanka and Major Driscoll are alone. They sit close to one another. They’re falling in love.

IVANKA

I watched the movie Evita last night. Twice.

MAJOR DRISCOLL

You and Madonna again.

IVANKA

Evita was a real person. I thought so. I just wasn’t sure.

MAJOR DRISCOLL

Are you getting some funny ideas Ivanka?

IVANKA

Ideas, yes. Usually my husband takes credit for my ideas. All the men in my family do. And that stops NOW. Can you help me? And in return I help you.

MAJOR DRISCOLL

Be specific. Spell it out for me.

IVANKA

Spell it out? Fine.
C*O*U*P. Got it?

MAJOR DRISCOLL

Got it. You for real?

IVANKA

Oh yes.

MAJOR DRISCOLL

I lied to you earlier. We didn't travel a lot because we were a military family. My old man was a car salesman and a drunk. Owed money to everyone. In the end he left us. I was 17. I needed stability, a real family. Joined the Marines.

IVANKA

You're so honest and open. I love that.

They look deep into each other's eyes. Then he laughs.

MAJOR DRISCOLL

I thought about being an actor. Did it once at school. Loved it. The adoration. You know what I mean?

They laugh.

MAJOR DRISCOLL

Your Dad is only bringing you around the world, talking to world leaders, giving you a high profile, so that some day
if YOU are in power you can help HIM get out of any trouble.

IVANKA

I know.

MAJOR DRISCOLL

He's just using you the same way he uses everybody.

IVANKA

I know. It's gross. And I want it to end.

They are quiet. She sheds a tear.

 

 

 

 

DISSOLVE TO:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

INT. UPSCALE RESTAURANT - NIGHT

Eric and Kanye and Donald eat dinner. Eric wanting to please his Dad.

DONALD

For years I’ve had black friends. And gay friends. In my 20’s I’d go out with some college pals on Saturday nights and we’d gang up on them, rough ’em up a little. In the West Village! They loved it. That’s the part you never hear about. They LOVED it.

All is uncomfortably quiet, then...

KANYE

I am NOT gay.

DONALD

Really?

ERIC

Really?

All is quiet for what seems like eternity. And then...

DONALD

I had a dream and Robert Mueller was in it...and...and...I'm a kid riding in the back of a '54 Plymouth. Mueller's driving. My Mom's up front. She's 42. Perfect hair. A picnic basket sits between them. I can smell the chicken.

A disturbing silence. Eric is on the verge of tears. Kanye smiles to Donald, who is lost in his own world.

 

 

 

 

DISSOLVE TO:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

INT. WHITE HOUSE BEDROOM - NIGHT

Donald is sitting upright in his bed in his pajamas and silk robe. An antique wood box sits next to him. He opens the box. Inside is a bejeweled crown from the mid-18th century.

He takes it out, places it on his head. And gazes proudly at his reflection in the mirror.

 

 

 

 

FADE TO BLACK